We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
