im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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