Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
