Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
