Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Drake has all the answers
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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