ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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