Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
