I need help removing her.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize