Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
