I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
