I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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