this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I touched a dick in church today
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
