ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
