i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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