you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
