I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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