I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
