You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize
