And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
