your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
