He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
