oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
