im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
