i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
