I'm so fucking centered right now
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
i now understand why vodka
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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