Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
