their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
