Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize