I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
