I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
