Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I party with great urgency now.
try to milk me bitch
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
