I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
oh god the rape fog is back!
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
