He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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