As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
