I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
