I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
