How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
