I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
