I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
