if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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