i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
