Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Fuck appropriateness.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Randomize
