I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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