I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
