It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
