your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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