so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
