i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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