Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Boobs are out for the taking
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
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