Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
