This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize