I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i jhust puked up my retainher.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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