I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
