His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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