I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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