Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
