There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
sex in a hospital.. check
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize