your thong is hanging out like whoa
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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