dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
