JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
