The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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