During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
