Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
