Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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