I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
