you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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