Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
