there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize