I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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