It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
