she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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