Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
