so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
