oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
